Response

In response to Pacey's post:

i agree with you. you are more than right... many nice guys out there are being taken for granted.. and there are many jerks and sluts out there who likes to make use of them. all so true! however, not everyone is a jerk or slut out there, and it is not just nice guys who are bullied. nice girls are bullied too!

ok, let's start with why nice guys are losers and boring. it's weird why you put it that way actually. because you can be nice n yet not be losers and boring. but it just so happens that many nice guys are losers and boring lol.. but not all! my bf is a nice guy, but he definitely is not a loser and not boring!

the reason why many nice guys are losers and boring is because many of them do not have the attributes that make them winners and entertaining. those who DO have them are loved by all.. most other nice guys just lack the art of human interaction, interactions that will engage the attention and interest of another.. some nice guys may be hurt too many times and become too jaded and pessimistic and make conversations with others even more unbearable.. so no one likes to talk to them.. vicious cycle.. i'll elaborate further later..

next, we'll go on to.. why do nice guys get the girl last. ok.. so why is it that if a guy is nice to a girl, the girl must give herself to the guy?? is that what a guy demands of a girl if he is nice to her? this is 1 thing which i don't like about some people.. they just put 2 disparate things together like that's the way to go. and if the girl doesn't fall in love with the guy because he was nice to her, then he would need some rethinking. most guys in this situation will get jaded and cynical, thinking to themselves: "why did the girl not like me?? i was so nice to her!! next time i should be a jerk like her crush so that she'll like me.."

you see.. courting a girl and getting her to fall in love with you is not solely through niceness. u want her heart to beat for you you need so much more than that. u want to catch her attention and charm her, being nice is not the way, at least not in most cases. i agree that there are many people out there who like to exploit people's kindness, making them do this and that for them and never feel a tinge of gratitude or appreciation. but i still wanna say that not everyone out there are like that. me for example, am a helpless girl.. often needing help from others. i am indebted to many people, these people who had helped me, but i've not repayed them, in monetary means or my physical being (which i strongly oppose to of course), but they get my gratitude and appreciation, even though i do not say it out..

everyone is selfish. even when a nice guy does something nice, although they would say that they want nothing in return, just for her to be happy, they are sad, because they did not get the girl's love in return.. i dun think there's anything wrong with that, it's just human nature. but i don't think it's right to say that one is altruistical on one hand but yet bitch about how their altruism is not repaid on the other. that's just oxymoronic..

take me for example.. what will catch my heart first is not niceness, but intelligence. i want the sparkle in the eye.. i wan the witty (BUT NOT CRUDE) remarks , and of course humour to entertain me. these are my personal 2 criteria that will make me fall in love! if you make me frown with ur attempted joke, u're a goner hehe..

ok, using my criteria as an ANALAGY (MY HEART IS SEALED..), one may be the nicest guy in the world, but if you fail to charm me with wit and humour, you will never get my heart, well, not totally.. a jerk comes along and charm me? well, he may catch my heart, but his "jerkass" is not why i like him, but his wit! and i definitely won't appreciate his meaness to me.

my bf is the nicest guy in the world, AND.. he's witty and funny! ^_^ AND... i really appreciate his niceness. his niceness comes in handy to maintain a great relationship. there's no crying like most couples over "CAN'T YOU SPARE SOME THOUGHT FOR ME AND CARE A LITTLE MORE ABOUT ME??".. lotsa trouble in most r/s where a girl gets together with a jerk.. and they break up..

moral of the story: girls want to be treated nicely!! just that nice guys must learn to charm the girl!! hee~
nice guys please buck up on social skills and save these damsels in distress lol..

Disclaimer: this is my personal opinion, and i still do believe that there are lotsa jerks out there who like to bully nice people, taking them for granted.. i'm just talking about some other issues that should not be neglected on certain rare situations. ^_^